Dilbeck Marketing – back to business in 2012

December 21, 2011 by John Dilbeck · 10 Comments
Filed under: Advertising and Marketing, Affiliate Marketing, Business, John Dilbeck, Marketing, Opinions 

Lots of fun things to do, today.

I’m finally free to update some of the websites related to my marketing business.

For the last several months, I’ve been pulling out my hair and chewing my fingernails trying to decide exactly what kinds of consulting services I’ll be offering. I settled that issue pretty quickly.

The hard part was deciding how I wanted to proceed and what I was going to charge for my time and effort.

Deciding what I WILL DO was much easier than deciding what I WILL NOT DO.

As I get older, I’m getting pickier about the people, products, and services I promote.

In the affiliate marketing side of my business, I’m dropping several companies this week, because I only promote the very best I can find in a particular category.

When it comes to business services, quality and dependability trumps price — every time. Some of the services I’ll be promoting cost more than their competitors, but they are worth it. Some, surprisingly, actually cost less.

In each case, I made my decisions based on quality and dependability, rather than price.

And, I did NOT make my decisions based on how much they are willing to pay me to promote them. I’m dropping several businesses that pay rather high commissions, but I don’t want to earn those commissions by recommending something that isn’t the best in its category.

Yes, it’s possible that I may make a bad decision now and then, but I’ve spent years and thousands of dollars using and testing these products and services. I know — first hand — if they deliver what they promise.

In a couple of cases, there really are two or three businesses that all deliver outstanding quality and return on investment. In one case, it has been very difficult to decide between them. I’m confident, however, that I made good choices for myself, my clients, and people like my clients.

If I won’t recommend something to my brother, daughter, best friend, or most-valued client, I won’t recommend it to you. If I won’t use it myself, I won’t recommend it, either.

That decision may cost me thousands of dollars, but if you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything.

I only promote businesses, and their owners, whose products and services I use and with which I am very satisfied — and that applies equally to affiliate marketing and also to promoting local brick and mortar businesses in Murphy, NC.

I’ll be stepping up my efforts to a higher notch in just a couple of weeks and I’ve been wrestling with several decisions for a long time.

When I started MurphyGold.com a couple of years ago, I planned to offer my marketing services to only one business in each category. Then, I’ve had inquiries from competitors of the folks I’m already promoting, and it’s been hard to turn them down.

And, in several cases, there are multiple business owners in a particular category who all qualify as top-notch and deserve to be promoted, so it’s been hard to make a decision about how I’ll handle this. In one category, off the top of my head, there are at least four business owners who I’d be proud to recommend to my readers. That is what has made it such a difficult decision.

If I were selling advertising, it would be simple. I’d let all of them buy ads, but that’s not what I’m building with Murphy Gold.

After wrestling with myself about this for months, I’ve come full circle back to my original thoughts. I’ll promote only one business in each category. That way, I can offer ideas for marketing and advertising without having to deal with helping people directly compete against each other.

I feel better about that. It was an ethical, as well as a business, dilemma. I do my best to be open, honest, and ethical and I felt it was wrong to promote two businesses offering the same kinds of services, because I would have inside knowledge of their goals and plans. My gut has known all along that it would open a can of worms, but my head has been arguing that I could deal with it and not do anything unethical or unfair.

I’ve learned — over many years — to pay attention to my gut feelings and finally my big ol’ brain came to the same conclusion.

Looking back on it, I knew all along that it would not be the right thing to do, and, as a result, I haven’t proceeded with inviting new businesses.

Now, that I have locked this “one business per category” policy in place (and have thrown away the key), it frees up a lot of energy to get to work.

Then, this week, I resolved my conflicts about pricing. That’s always a hard thing to set. There are many models and ways of calculating prices, but I tossed them all aside and went with my gut. It has been a good counselor over the years.

Now, I know what I’ll be doing, what I’ll be charging, and a few of the people I’ll accept as new clients. What a relief. Now, I can jump into doing the work — and that’s the part I love.

Normally, in the last two weeks of December, I fire the bottom 10% of my clients. I don’t work with people who are hard to deal with, who don’t do what they say they’ll do, who don’t pay on time, or who are just difficult to deal with.

If I don’t enjoy working with someone, there isn’t enough money on this quaint little planet to convince me to work with them. Life’s too short to deal with difficult people.

The only people I’ll work with are honest, reliable, helpful, friendly, cooperative, happy to see their customers, and very good at what they do.

I’m kind of a strange bird. In a world where most people will work with anyone who has some money and a pulse, I turn away more prospects than I accept.

I’ve been told I don’t have a firm grasp on reality and that I don’t understand business. That may be true.

However, I’d rather work with a few outstanding clients I truly love working with than have hundreds or thousands of clients I don’t like.

Some things transcend money.

This year, I’m happy to say that I don’t have any clients who need firing. I think that’s a first. I love working with great people.

I’ll be sending out invoices for next year, and we’ll see if any of my clients decide to fire me. It’s possible.

It’s gonna be an outstanding 2012! I’m going to have a lot of fun with my business.

Act on your dream!

JD

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John Dilbeck selected as Sitesell Featured Fan on Facebook

October 16, 2011 by John Dilbeck · 10 Comments
Filed under: Facebook, John Dilbeck, Sitesell and Site Build It 

I am deeply honored because I was selected as the most recent Featured Fan on Sitesell’s Facebook Page.

Photo showing John Dilbeck as Sitesell Featured Fan

John Dilbeck is the most recent Sitesell Featured Fan

As I told in the story when I was selected, Ken Evoy and Sitesell have played very important roles in my life over the last decade. I am deeply touched that they selected me as one of their featured fans.

Thank you very much to the Sitesell team. I intend to continue using SBI in my marketing business for a long time.

Act on your dream!

JD

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Empire Avenue – the fun social networking stock market game

September 11, 2011 by John Dilbeck · 4 Comments
Filed under: Blogging, Business Networking, Facebook, John Dilbeck, Musings, Social Networking 

Now, for something a little different.

I’m a hard working guy and I spend most of my waking time working on my marketing business, writing blog posts, creating new pages on my websites, and interacting on some of the social networking sites, most notably: Facebook.

A couple of weeks ago, two of my friends were talking about a website where we can earn credit for what we’re already doing. Now, let me make it clear that we can’t earn money, but we earn value in our stock in this game, and we can earn eaves, which is what the site calls their virtual currency.

It’s like a social networking stock market and we earn by being active with our blogs and on social networking sites like Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, YouTube, and others.

When you join Empire Avenue, you get some money to purchase “stock” in others who are playing the game, and there are a lot of people doing it. I bought stock in folks like Guy Kawasaki and Mari Smith and other well-known social networking “stars.”

(Note: we are not buying ownership in each other. It’s just a game.)

Folks bought shares of my stock, too, and that gave me more money to invest.

I’ve been buying more shares in the people who invested in me, as I earn more “money” with which to purchase their stock. It’s been a lot of fun.

I’m also buying stock in people I’ve never met before, based on recommendations from others who are playing the game.

I used to enjoy investing in the real stock market, and the Empire Avenue game offers a lot of the same fun with no financial risk.

It also provides another way to expose people to our various social networks and blog feeds.

You can add multiple RSS feeds to your Connections tab, but each feed needs to be endorsed by at least five people before you start getting credit for your blogging activities. And, the credit you receive for blogging is limited, because it’s just too easy for people to cheat by adding the RSS feed of a robotic “splog.”

I’m not playing the game to try to win it; I’m playing for fun and to expose my sites to more people.

I generally buy some shares of the people who invest in my stock, but don’t promise a quid pro quo.

I’ve also bought shares in the stock of some of my online friends who are not playing the game, yet. I can say I’m the first to buy their stock, and I get it at the absolute lowest price, should they decide to start playing the game.

If you’re already playing the Empire Avenue game, I’m still a good investment, but I’ll be crossing the $50 per share price shortly. Invest in me now, before the price goes up! (grin)

Seriously, I go there a couple of times per day and spend maybe five or ten minutes investing in more stock. It’s a nice, short break from work, and still does a little to promote my work. Since I enjoy combining work and fun, this is a good match.

It’s a bit confusing at first, but I’m starting to find my way around. That makes it even more enjoyable. I don’t think I’ll ever spend more than 15 or 20 minutes there on any given day, probably less, but it’s a nice break, now and then.

While it’s not for everyone, it makes it a little more fun to think about myself as representing my marketing business and it’s fun when someone at Empire Avenue buys stock in me.

If you’re looking for a site to purchase advertising and want to expose your sites and blogs to others who are active in social networking, there are ways to spend real money buying advertising and credits. I haven’t done any of that, and don’t have any plans to do so, at this time. I don’t know what I’ll do as I learn more about the site and all that’s available there.

Empire Avenue also has communities where you can interact with others who share the same interests. I don’t have time for that, so I haven’t tried it.

Join Empire Avenue and try it for yourself. It’s free, and you can sign in through your Facebook account, or create a separate Empire Avenue account. It’s your choice.

What about you?

Are you playing Empire Avenue? What do you think about it?

Act on your dream!

JD

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That was not my last post to 21st Century Affiliate Marketing

August 20, 2010 by John Dilbeck · 9 Comments
Filed under: Affiliate Marketing, Blogging, Facebook, John Dilbeck, Musings 

Surprise! I’m back. (grin)

Apparently, the reports of my death were greatly exaggerated, and it looks like that applies to this blog, too.

I came close to dying back in March, and things weren’t looking too good in May, either.

I’m happy to tell you that I’m getting better. I have a long way to go before I’m fully recovered, but I’m making substantial progress.

I wrote what I thought would be the last post to this blog in the middle of May, 2010. Since then, there have been some significant events in my life.

On April 1, 2010, my friend and surgeon resected my intestines, removed my gall bladder, and removed an 8-lb colon cancer. He was surprised to find the tumor in one large contained mass, rather than spread throughout my abdomen. That was a very lucky break.

Other, relatively minor surgeries followed.

A PET scan showed that I had suspicious spots in both thyroid glands and in the right lobe of my liver.

A biopsy of each thryoid gland showed that the growths were benign, not cancer. Happy dance!

A biopsy of the tumor in my liver showed it was benign. Happy dance!

However, a radiologist on the oncology team that would be doing the procedure on my liver called me at home from his vacation and said the biopsy report on my liver had to be wrong. He had seen the scans (two of them) and knew from the look and the growth that it was cancer. He didn’t want to rain on my parade, but he said — emphatically — that I should get the biopsy redone, and he would do it himself, if I wanted. I talked it over with my daughter and decided to have the biopsy redone. Dr. Moore did it using a slightly different technique and was right. It was colon cancer that had metastasized to my liver. At least, we knew it was something that had to be dealt with, as soon as possible.

In July, 2010, I went to Mission Hospital in Asheville, NC, and Dr. Moore performed a radio frequency ablation of the tumor in my liver. It is good that I was a good candidate for this, because traditional surgery on the right lobe of the liver is a very serious operation. Basically, what he did was this: insert three needles (that are connected to a radio frequency generator) into my liver so that they surround the tumor. Turn on the generator to cook the tumor (think of this as a microwave oven).

Because of the size of the tumor, he had to use three needles and the results looked good on the ultrasound right after the procedure.

I went for a CT scan and checkup with Dr. Moore earlier this week and got the good news. There is no sign of cancer in my liver, the “cooked” portion completely enveloped the tumor and some surrounding tissue, and there are no signs of bleeding complications. Very good news, indeed.

So, now the surgical interventions are all done and I’m on my second round (of 24 total) of chemotherapy treatments.

Now, instead of expecting to die from this (as it looked back in March), we’re working together to cure it. That’s a huge change in expectations and perspective in only three months.

I’m a long way from being my old self. I’m tired all the time and have trouble thinking straight, but I’m definitely improving.

So, instead of closing this blog, I’ve updated it to the latest version of WordPress, changed the theme, and spruced it up for another few years of talking about affiliate marketing.

I will not be posting as often as I did previously, but this blog is not going to just sit here, either. I will definitely be putting more effort into building evergreen, content-rich, hierarchically-organized websites than I will into blogging, but both have a part to play in my marketing plans.

I want to thank everyone who sent me their encouragement and support in the comments here, on my Facebook profile, and in email and phone calls. It meant a lot, and still does. I think your outpouring of support, encouragement, and prayers is one of the major reasons that I’m looking forward to conquering this cancer, instead of being its victim.

So, that’s enough about me. Let’s get back to talking about affiliate marketing.

(Now, I have to remember how I added that subscribe via email form on this blog. Scratching head…)

Act on your dream!

JD

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This is my last post to 21st Century Affiliate Marketing

May 14, 2010 by John Dilbeck · 17 Comments
Filed under: Affiliate Marketing, Blogging, John Dilbeck, Marketing, Success and Failure 

Before I say anything else, I want to thank all of you who have been regular readers and who have made this blog better by sharing your thoughts and comments with all of us. You know who you are.

This is the last post to this blog and I will be shutting it down in the next few days or weeks, as I have the time and energy. I’m closing my marketing business and I’m out of affiliate marketing.

It’s amazing how much of a difference two months can make in one’s life.

Two months ago, I went to the emergency room because I could not get out of bed. After 7 units of blood, I felt a bit stronger, but that lead to the discovery of colon cancer, which was followed shortly after with intestinal surgery, gall bladder removal, and today I learned that I need surgery for cancer in my liver and a biopsy for possible cancer in one of my thyroid glands.

For the foreseeable future, I’ll be putting my energy into kicking these cancers’ butts. I don’t intend to let them beat me, but you never know.

I don’t know for sure what will happen to this domain name. If you’re a regular reader and contributor to this blog, I’m willing to listen to your ideas.

It’s been a wild ride for the last several years, and I’m sad to see the ride coming to an end.

I plan to continue posting (now and then) to JohnDilbeckAndFriends.com and to my Facebook account at facebook.com/johndilbeck .

Thanks for reading, contributing, and making affiliate marketing just a bit more interesting as we shared ideas and thoughts about the subject.

Continued success to you.

All the best,

JD

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I now have three primary blogs

February 10, 2009 by John Dilbeck · 4 Comments
Filed under: Blogging, John Dilbeck, Western North Carolina 

If you’ve been reading this blog for any time, you know that I’ve been struggling with my blogs and websites and how I’m going to focus my efforts more in 2009.

You’ve also noted, I suspect, that some of the posts I have here don’t really relate to affiliate marketing.

Over the last few weeks, I’ve created a new blog and resurrected another one, and now I have my three primary blogs set up for real work. There are a few more things I need to do, but they are ready to go.

21st Century Affiliate Marketing

This blog will be focused more tightly on affiliate marketing. I won’t be talking as much about Twitter tools, social networking, and similar topics, unless they can be tied directly to being a more effective affiliate marketer.

John Dilbeck And Friends

I’ve moved my John Dilbeck And Friends blog from it’s former home at johndilbeck.editthispage.com to it’s new home at JohnDilbeckAndFriends.com and now it is powered by WordPress.

This is the blog where I’ll be talking about social networking and other things in which I’m interested. It will be a general purpose blog, but I don’t plan on talking about politics or what I had for breakfast! ;)

Murphy, NC 28906

Finally, I’ve resurrected my Murphy NC 28906 blog, updated it to WordPress version 2.7, changed the theme, and added some bells and whistles. It will be used exclusively for talking about people, events, organizations, businesses, and things related specifically to Murphy, NC.

Because of more pressing issues, I neglected that blog for most of 2008, but it will be much more important to me in 2009 and in future years.

Before too long, I’ll be reintroducing my Murphy NC community and a announcing a brand-new website for promoting local businesses on the Internet.

More focused on my two primary goals in 2009

With these changes, I think I’ll be able to segment my efforts and focus on my two primary goals for 2009:

1. Continuing to build my affiliate marketing business and making it more profitable.

2. Promoting local brick and mortar businesses in Murphy, NC. I’ll also be doing much more offline marketing consulting with local business owners.

I hope this will make this blog more interesting to those of you who are interested in affiliate marketing.

What do you think?

Act on your dream!

JD

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Did you know you can syndicate your SquidCasts by RSS and email?

December 22, 2008 by John Dilbeck · 6 Comments
Filed under: John Dilbeck, Lenses, RSS Syndication, Squidoo Lenses, email marketing 

As I’ve written previously on this blog, you can treat your Squidoo lenses as a sort of mini-blog by sending a SquidCast whenever you create a new lens or make significant updates to an existing lens.

The SquidCast is a very limited posting (500 characters maximum) about the lens. This is added to the RSS feed for that lens.

For example, the following URL is the RSS feed for my John Dilbeck lensography lens:

http://www.squidoo.com/xml/syndicate_lens/John-Dilbeck

Each lens has a similar RSS feed.

In order to make use of this, you must remember to send a SquidCast whenever appropriate. Fortunately, we are reminded to do this whenever we publish a lens.

You can treat this RSS feed as you would any other. It can be added to feed readers, syndicated using RSS modules on other lenses or your blog, and it can be syndicated via email, if you want.

I got to thinking about this because I read a post by Linda Martin on her blog: Offer Email Subscriptions to Your SquidCasts

She has created a new lens, Offer Email Subscriptions to Your SquidCasts, that explains the process of offering updates via email for your SquidCasts for all your lenses.

Essentially, her method uses the RSS feed for all a lensmaster’s Squidcasts, provided by thefluffanutta’s SquidUtils.com, and syndicates it using the free services of FeedBurner.com.

Each lensmaster can get an RSS feed through SquidUtils.com that includes the SquidCasts you’ve made for all your lenses, combined. The URL for my feed is:

http://squidutils.com/squidcasts/from/johndilbeck.rss

Feedburner.com provides tools for publicizing your RSS feeds, including syndication via email. It is a free service, and you can syndicate as many RSS or Atom feeds as you want.

Using the method Linda describes on her lens, anyone who subscribes to the email updates will be notified whenever a lensmaster updates any of his or her lenses. This may be a very good way to keep your fans updated if your lenses are about similar topics.

However, if you have a lot of very different types of lenses, it may not be the best approach, necessarily.

Linda provides a caution on her lenses reminding the subscriber that they’ll receive updates on all her lenses, not just the one they’re subscribing from.

On the other hand, you may want to restrict updates to just the lens that’s being read.

You can do this by syndicating just that lens’ RSS feed via Feedburner, instead of the combined SquidCasts feed provided by SquidUtils.

That way, your readers will not be surprised by updates totally unrelated to the lens from which they subscribed.

So, which is better?

Do you want an easy way for your readers to subscribe to your SquidCasts for all your lenses combined?

…or…

Do you want an easy way for your readers to subscribe to just the SquidCasts about the lens they are currently reading?

I think syndicating the SquidCasts for all your lenses may be more useful, unless you have a lens that will be updated frequently. There’s not much point to subscribing to updates to a lens if it is only updated every few months or so, is there?

Fortunately, you can do either – or both – depending upon what you think is best for your readers and the particular lens they are visiting.

Thanks for the reminder, Linda, and for providing clear instructions on providing our fans with another easy way to be informed when we make changes to our lenses.

If you set this up, don’t forget to offer it to your fans on your lensmasters’ page, too.

So, what do you think about this? Is it something you would want to offer to the readers of your Squidoo lenses and to your fans?

Act on your dream!

JD

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In Memory of Mattie Lee Dilbeck

November 25, 2008 by John Dilbeck · 36 Comments
Filed under: Friends and Family, John Dilbeck, Musings 

Today, instead of affiliate marketing, I’m going to talk about Mattie Lee Dilbeck, my Mom.


In memory of Mattie Lee Dilbeck

Mom died on Friday evening, November 21, 2008, and it was a difficult day for several reasons.

Before I talk about her death, I want to talk about her life.

I am one generation from the farm. Mom and Dad both grew up on farms and worked very hard when they were young, and that’s something that probably made them stronger when they were old.

I don’t know how many stories I’ve heard about plowing fields behind horses and mules under the hot summer sun or picking crops when their fingers were so cold they could hardly move early in the fall mornings.

My Mom was the oldest in her family and Dad was the youngest in his.

Mom and her younger brother, Floyd, used to work together to plow the fields when they were young because it took both of them to manage a plow. Mom collected arrowheads they found in the fields and I still have a few of them, now.

Mom was born on November 6, 1920, and was a child of the Great Depression. As a result, she recycled and reused everything. She was a master at getting full use out of something and discarded it only when it was completely used up.

She was a master at getting the full value of coupons and spent years clipping and passing them around to her friends and relatives, easily saving several hundred dollars per month in foods and household goods, which was a useful skill when money is tight, and it has always been tight in our family.

Mom had to drop out of school before finishing high school to help on the farm. It was only when she was in her mid-20s that she learned of the Berry school in Rome, Georgia. Even though she was about ten years older than her schoolmates, she went back to high school at Berry Academy.

For the next few years, she worked her way through the school and one of the things she loved was baking for her fellow students.

While there, she saw Henry Ford when he visited the school and – if memory serves – she made a short speech for him and his friends.

When she graduated, she was Valedictorian of her class and this was a great accomplishment for her and is something she valued her whole life.

After Berry, she moved to Chattanooga and started studying nursing at Erlanger Hospital.

In those days, nursing students could not be married (for whatever strange reason) and she was less than a year from graduating when she met Bill Dilbeck. Mom’s sister Geneva told me that it was a love that could not be denied.

Mom was an honest person her entire life. She told the truth, even when it was inconvenient. Some of her classmates told her to get married and just lie about it. That was what a few of them had already done. Mom would not do that. She quit nursing school and was married in December 1950.

Mom and Dad moved to the Atlanta area. My grandmother, Cornelia Godfrey, was sick and I think Mom helped care for her. My memory is vague about some of this.

Cornelia died shortly before I was born, so I never knew her. I’ve been told that I missed a very good person.

I was born in 1952 and my brother, David, in 1957.

While going through Mom’s papers yesterday, I found a two page receipt for the hospital stay and services when I was born at Georgia Baptist Hospital. For delivery, doctor’s fees, anesthesiologist, surgical, miscellaneous, and a room for three days, the grand total for my birth was $74.20, paid in cash on July 4, 1952, when they brought me home.

Dad wanted to call me Firecracker, but Mom put a stop to that. It’s a shame, because I like being called Firecracker.

I won’t go into a lot of detail. The highpoints…

David was born in December 1957. I don’t know what he cost.

We moved to Vero Beach, Florida in 1960, because of Dad’s arthritis. He worked hard managing several thousand acres of citrus crops during the early 60s.

We were close enough to Cape Canaveral that we could watch the rockets of the space program launch on TV and then rush outside to see them streak upwards into the sky. When the first Saturn V launched, we were amazed to be able to read “USA” on the rocket from about 70 miles away without even using binoculars.

After going through a hurricane in 1965, Dad decided that was going to be his first, and last, experience with those storms and we moved back to the Atlanta, Georgia, area.

Dad was hired back at his old job at Mullins Brothers Paving Contractors in East Point when we happened to run into his old boss in a restaurant while looking for a place to live. Dad never even had to look for a job. How’s that for a sign?

They bought a house in southern Fulton County and Dad worked at Mullins Brothers until he retired in the early 1970s. Mom worked as a power machine operator at several factories and worked even harder raising a couple of cantankerous sons.

Dad had been raised in eastern Tennessee and Mom in north Georgia. When he retired, they split the difference and bought a house – the one I’m in this morning – in Murphy, NC. That way, they’d be able to visit both branches of the family fairly easily.

Dad was about seven years older than Mom, so she had to work when they got here. She worked as a power machine operator for several years and then was hired on the Older Americans project by the USDA, where she worked in a tree orchard for several years.

By this time, I had moved to Murphy to help them out because Dad’s health had started to decline. Even so, he could outwork me any time he wanted. I taught computer programming at the local community college.

When Mom retired, she signed up for college, because it had always bothered her that she never was able to finish college and dropping out of nursing school had been one of the big disappointments of her life. A couple of years later, Mom graduated with an Associates degree in Business Administration, and then she retired.

Life went pretty well for both of them for the next few years.

In the summer of 1991, just a few days after going to watch the Independence Day fireworks, Dad died in his favorite chair of a massive heart attack. One minute, he was getting ready to go work in the garden and the next minute he was gone.

For the next 17 years, Mom continued to live here. She was an active gardener and loved flowers and herbs. She could tell you more than I ever wanted to know about any flower or plant in her garden and around the property.

Mom spent over 30 years studying our family history and easily knew more about the Godfreys and Dilbecks (our direct branches, at least) than anyone else on the planet. Much of this research was done before the Internet, and it required writing many letters and visiting many places to find the information she needed. I’ve put a small portion of what she learned on my Genealogy page or Genealogy Overview page.

I have boxes of records – mostly hand-written – that Mom collected during her genealogy research and we’re lucky that she compiled a good bit of it into a couple of books that she had printed for our family. Several of us have copies of those books.

We lost a great family historian when Mom declined to the point she could no longer do the genealogy research she loved so much.

Mom was always learning something. She has dozens of books about birds (she loved hummingbirds), flowers, gardening, cooking, and many topics related to her religion.

Mom was friendly and could talk to anyone.

She was a loving parent, loyal friend, devout Christian, and would do anything she could to help someone in need.

Mom was always scrupulously honest, even when it was not convenient for her.

She taught me how to read several years before I entered first grade and encouraged my education throughout my life.

In 2001, on Halloween, she started bleeding and couldn’t get it to stop. I took her to the emergency room. A few days later, on her birthday, she was diagnosed with colon cancer.

Weeks of radiation and chemo preceded surgery in Asheville, NC. What was expected to be a stay of a few days turned into over six weeks in two hospitals. The cancer surgery was successful, but she suffered nerve damage that left her in constant pain, and unable to walk or care for herself.

They wanted to put her in a nursing home in Asheville, but after talking it over with Mom, I said, “No.”

My daughter and I brought Mom home and I cared for her – where she wanted to be – until August 2008. It was a lot of work, but I would make the same choice today. She helped me when I needed it, and I have been happy to return the favor when she needed my help.

In August, her health suddenly declined and she had to be hospitalized. A week later she was moved to the nursing home attached to the hospital. Her health continued to decline and she found it harder to communicate as the weeks went by.

The last couple of weeks were frustrating. She was losing weight and strength. After her birthday, it was difficult to communicate with her. It seemed that she understood what she was hearing, but could not complete a sentence.

On Thursday, November 20, 2008, I started running a fever and throwing up. All the yucky side-effects of getting sick. I was planning to visit her Friday afternoon, but was sick enough I had to call the nursing home and ask them to tell her I would not be able to make it.

Late Friday afternoon, Mom’s doctor called and told me that Mom’s systems were failing and he didn’t think she’d live longer than a day, if that.

I called my brother, daughter, and ex-wife and told them. David would not be able to get there before Saturday morning, but Dena (my daughter) and Kathy (my ex-wife) went to the nursing home to be with her. Of course, I was too sick and they would not have let me in, anyway.

Dena called later Friday evening and said Mom was asking about me. She held the phone to Mom’s ear and I was able to tell her I love her and told her that everything would be alright.

Later I learned that David and my cousin Jacque also had a chance to talk to her.

Unfortunately, we could not understand what Mom was trying to say, but Dena said she smiled when listening to us, and we can only hope she understood what we told her.

I fell back asleep.

Sometime Friday evening, November 21, 2008, I’m still not exactly sure what time, Kathy called and told me that Mom had died.

It has been a very sad weekend and I’m sure today and tomorrow will be sad, too. Mom’s funeral will be this evening, and we’ll go down to Coal Mountain, Georgia, tomorrow to bury her with Dad and her family.

She’s better off than she was. She has always been an active, friendly, and talkative person, but it was very difficult to understand what she was trying to say the last 10 days, or so. Most visits consisted of talking to her, helping her sip some Sprite or juice, and holding her hand. Now and then, I could understand what she was trying to say, but it was getting more difficult.

I posted some photos of Mom on my Facebook account yesterday so Dena could try to make a CD that we can show at the viewing. We don’t have many photos of Mom, and I lost many when a harddisk crashed a couple of years ago. But we do have a few.

This should be the link to the public gallery, if you are interested:

Mattie Lee Dilbeck Photo Album

One of my favorite photos of Mom should be visible at:

Mattie Lee Dilbeck – this is the same photo that is shown at the top of this post.

There is much more that could be said about Mom, but I’m going to stop here. I’m still feeling bad and I think I’m going back to sleep for awhile.

Some of the details here may not be entirely accurate. My memory is not completely reliable on some of these details, and I’m still really foggy about what has happened over the last weekend. At least I’ll be well enough to attend her funeral and burial.

I’ll be getting back to work later this week, but the next few days will be family time.

Townson-Rose Funeral Home created a memorial page for Mattie Lee Dilbeck, should you wish to visit it.

In lieu of flowers or gifts, try to help someone or a family who is hungry this holiday season.

All the best,

JD

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