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I just learned how to enjoy Facebook more

August 24, 2009 by John Dilbeck
Filed under: Facebook, Friends and Family, Social Networking 

I don’t spend a lot of time on Facebook, but I do go there two or three times per week to see what my friends are doing.

I’m not one of those people who goes “friend crazy” on Facebook. I have just under 300 friends there.

Lately, I’ve been getting tired of going to the Facebook home page, because I just wasn’t interested in what I was seeing most of the time.

But, this evening, based on a chance comment I read somewhere yesterday, Facebook got a lot more enjoyable for me.

I’ve been reading a lot of blogs over the weekend and someone — I don’t remember who — said something about Facebook friend lists in passing. He or she didn’t go into any depth to explain it, but it stuck in my mind, somehow.

This evening, when I went to Facebook, I went to their help center and found out what friend lists are.

Over the last few weeks (months?) I’ve seen the “Add to list” link when someone requests to become my friend, but I never thought about it.

Tonight, I learned that I can create multiple lists to segment all of my friends into smaller, more useful groups.

I went to the Friends tab on Facebook and waited for the drop-down menu to appear and then I chose the All Friends link.

Then I went through all my friends there and added many of them to one or more lists. I created a list for close friends, another for family, another for bloggers, one for Squidoo friends, one for marketing, and so forth. I may go back and add other lists, but I’m pretty happy with what I accomplished this evening in a surprisingly short time.

I was also a bit surprised when I realized I had not a single clue who some of the people were who I had accepted as friends. I don’t remember ever seeing some of their names. Over the next few weeks, I’ll visit the profiles of the ones I don’t remember. Unless there is a good reason to keep them, I’ll be removing them from my friends.

After all, how much of a friend can they be if I don’t even remember who they are?

So, after doing all of this, I still didn’t see how it would be useful to me.

I went to the Facebook home page and still saw the same old mish-mash of updates that weren’t very interesting to me.

Then, I looked into the left column and saw some links. At the bottom of the short list was the link labeled “more.” I clicked it and there were my brand new friend lists.

I clicked on the Family link and a few seconds later all the updates were from my family members on Facebook. Now, that was interesting and useful!

After reading that, I clicked on the Close Friends list and read what they were up to.

Next I clicked on the Marketing list and enjoyed reading their updates – for the most part. It turns out that some of the updates really weren’t all that interesting. I may be removing some of the people in that list from my friends.

In the next few minutes, I clicked on each new list, in turn, and really enjoyed reading updates that were more or less grouped by people in categories in which I was interested.

I can already tell that I’ll spend more time on my Family and Close Friends lists as I continue to use Facebook.

Several people are on multiple lists.

It was interesting that I chose to add some people I know in real life as Close Friends and a few people I’ve never met in person, but who feel like close friends, anyway.

Maybe you already know all about this and you’ve been doing it forever and wonder how I could be so dense. That’s okay. Sometimes it just takes me awhile to learn to use the features each tool offers.

I know for certain that I’ll be using friend lists on Facebook from here on out.

What about you?

Act on your dream!

JD

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12 Comments on I just learned how to enjoy Facebook more

  1. Solomon Huey on Mon, 24th Aug 2009 9:56 am

    2. Yea facebook is kind of confusing but it really is intuitive once you can wrap your head around things. I resisted the whole social networking thing for a long while but I’m pretty much addicted to facebook now :P

    Solomon Huey
    Solomon Huey´s last blog ..Get YOUR Voice Heard! My ComLuv Profile

  2. John Dilbeck on Tue, 25th Aug 2009 5:37 pm

    3. Good afternoon, Solomon.

    I agree. Facebook is confusing and there is so much there that I’m really not interested in — especially all the quizzes, polls, and anything to do with Mafia Wars.

    But, the more I use it, the better I like it for keeping up with some close friends and relatives.

    I’m still not getting much from it for my business, but that’s okay. Even hermits like me need to socialize now and then. ;)

    Act on your dream!

    JD

  3. Joan Adams on Thu, 27th Aug 2009 12:44 pm

    4. Good. I have separate lists, but still it is confusing. I am seriously considering removing all those followers I do not know and/or starting with a new identity and just do family and friends. Would appreciate some input from you on that thought? New identity or clean up and delete thousands?
    Joan Adams´s last blog ..Updated with Music My ComLuv Profile

  4. will on Fri, 28th Aug 2009 9:23 am

    5. haha, this is what i was like when i first got facebook. it was all abit to much for me + i didnt have a clue about how to use it properly. the adds you get are funny though, i hardly even speak to some people, i think they love having a massive friends list to brag about!
    will´s last blog ..Piano Lessons Online Review – Don’t Get Scammed My ComLuv Profile

  5. John Dilbeck on Fri, 28th Aug 2009 11:51 pm

    6. Good evening, Joan.

    I don’t really know what to tell you.

    If it were me facing that decision, I would probably keep my existing identity on Facebook and just drop everyone you don’t really know or enjoy talking to.

    That’s what I’m going to do.

    If you set up a new identity, then you’ll lose all the value of any links and bookmarks that your real friends may have created.

    For a long time, I accepted friend requests from anyone who mentioned Squidoo, CafePress, and some of the traffic exchanges. Now, I find that we may share some common interests, but not enough to remain “friends.”

    Yesterday, my daughter told me another way to enjoy Facebook more and now I have hidden all those Mafia Wars and similar posts. It’s easy to do. Just hover your mouse over the entry and click on the “Hide” link in the top right corner. You can choose to hide the person or the application. After hiding several applications in which I have no interest, it makes what is left more worth reading.

    What do you think?

    Act on your dream!

    JD

  6. John Dilbeck on Fri, 28th Aug 2009 11:56 pm

    7. Good evening, Will.

    Welcome to our discussions and thanks for your comment.

    I know what you mean about people who try to get massive friend and/or follower lists. I don’t understand it, but some people just think more is better.

    I only have about 300 “friends” on Facebook and I’ll probably drop about a third of them.

    I’m following about 1,600 people on Twitter and have plans to stop following several hundred of them.

    I’m there for exchanging information and talking with my real friends, and interacting with too many people lowers the quality of what I really enjoy doing.

    Act on your dream!

    JD

  7. Ravi Kuwadia on Wed, 2nd Sep 2009 4:19 pm

    8. Hey John,

    I also never used facebook much. I created my account and went there like 3 times but never found it that interesting.

    I like your post about making segmented list. I will try it again sometime.

    Let us know how it shapes up for you in long term or if you see more interesting things in facebook.
    Ravi Kuwadia´s last blog ..Backlinking Strategies that Work My ComLuv Profile

  8. MY Special Education on Thu, 3rd Sep 2009 10:38 am

    9. Facebook is, I think, a way for the government to keep your personal details on file – you cannot delete your profile, just hide it. The only reason for this would be if the government/owner wanted to keep your details – there is no other possible reason.Facebook is a site to be avoided.Thanks
    MY Special Education´s last blog ..Avail perfection with education My ComLuv Profile

  9. John Dilbeck on Thu, 3rd Sep 2009 4:01 pm

    10. Good afternoon, Ravi.

    I think that Facebook becomes useful as you find others who share the same interests you do, and not just superficially. The more I spend time on Facebook, the more I get out of it, as long as I exercise some common sense.

    I ignore almost all group and application invitations, even from close friends, because the more groups you join, the more applications you add, the more people whose friend requests you accept, the more you get side-tracked from your original purpose.

    My main purpose in using Facebook is to keep up with what my friends and family are doing.

    That’s why segmenting my friends into separate lists has greatly increased my enjoyment of Facebook over the last week or so. Learning how to hide all the Mafia Wars updates and similar things has done the same thing.

    I don’t mind if my friends and family love Mafia Wars and want to spend their time playing it. Good for them, if they enjoy it. Since I don’t, I don’t want to be bothered by it. Hiding those updates has made my Facebook experience more enjoyable, without diminishing their enjoyment, as far as I know.

    As I get older, I want to stay in touch with my family more, and many of them are on Facebook now. I enjoy the photos they uploads, the glimpses into their daily life, and lots of other things they share.

    The same is true for my close friends.

    This is not true for some of the other people I friended, just because they were Squidoo lensmasters, bloggers, marketers, people I knew from the traffic exchanges, and so forth. It seems that the narrow interest I shared was not enough to put up with some of the other things they do that I don’t like. I try not to make a big deal of it. I’m just quietly unfriending a few people here and there and I’m much less likely to accept a friend request from someone I don’t really know than I used to be.

    I’ve renewed friendships with people I lost touch with over 20 years ago on Facebook and I really don’t know how that would have happened elsewhere.

    Act on your dream!

    JD

  10. John Dilbeck on Thu, 3rd Sep 2009 4:08 pm

    11. Good afternoon, M.S.E.

    I’m going to disagree with you on this.

    Facebook is a social networking site owned and controlled by a private company, not a government institution or some kind of conspiracy.

    I don’t know if it is true, or not, that a Facebook profile can’t be deleted. I don’t want to delete mine so I’m not going to test it to see if it’s true or not.

    Have you tried?

    If you don’t want to be a member at Facebook, that’s certainly your decision and right, but I don’t think there is any reason for fear-mongering.

    Act on your dream!

    JD

  11. Stacey on Tue, 22nd Sep 2009 11:03 pm

    12. I am a believer that Facebook is best used when people use it for their own “personal” network and not business. If you are like me, I prefer to be able to update what I am doing and share photos all at once b/c life keeps me busy and I no longer have the time to call all my friends/family and repeat the same story – this is why I see Facebook as so invaluable on a personal level.

    I *cringe* anytime I see people with thousands of friends (and I think FB limits them to a max of 5000) – Really can you be that close to thousands of people?!?!

    Yes, I think FB has its place for internet marketing – but I do believe your personal page should be kept, well – personal ;-)

    Cheers!

  12. John Dilbeck on Wed, 23rd Sep 2009 5:31 am

    13. Good morning, Stacey.

    I don’t totally agree with you about mixing personal and business interests on Facebook, but that’s okay. Each of us can use the site in whatever way makes us happiest.

    As far as massive friends lists are concerned, I think Aristotle summed it up very well when he wrote, “He who has many friends, has none.”

    Friends are rare finds and are worth much more than gems.

    I think we dilute the meaning of the word when it is applied so indiscriminately on the social networking sites.

    Friendship requires a certain amount of effort, nurturing, and interaction, or it dies like a neglected houseplant.

    Perhaps it would be better if they had named them “contact lists” or something similar.

    For myself, I don’t mind mixing my business and personal life, since they are so intertwined anyway. Still, there are times when I don’t like one interfering with the other. I’ve found a mix that works well for me.

    Last year, when Mom died, Facebook was a great place to upload photos and share memories. That brought several of my family to Facebook and we’ve been able to keep in touch a bit better since then.

    Act on your dream!

    JD

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